Cooler Than Me
by ellisss3377
Summary: Because I couldn't find a gender swapped dramione fic that had them in different genders from the start, I decided to write it rather wait for an eternity for someone else to write it. 6th year dramione, all characters (but adults) gender swapped. Based off of the song "Cooler Than Me" by Mike Posner. Some profanity, but not too much.


**A/N: Okay, so I'm not abandoning** **everything that I have ever written on (well, maybe Everdeen, but you get my point), it's just that I'm super busy with school, and my muse just _loves_ to abandon me. So, I'm just on hiatus. Don't expect me to update every week, because then I'll just disappoint you. Sorry.**

 **But oh well. So, like I said in the story summary, because I couldn't find a gender-swapped dramione story that was gander-swapped from the _beginning_ , I decided to get up and write it myself. Wish me luck!**

* * *

Wherever she went, no matter what, there were whispers and words following her.

 _Did you hear? Daddy's been sent to Azkaban. Pathetic little whore_.

 _Death eater offspring._

 _Do you think she'll bed me if I comfort her?_

That was the reason why Dione Malfoy hated school.

 _Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy Warty Hogwarts, teach us something we be old and bald or young with scabby knees, our heads could do with filling with some interesting stuff, for now they're bare and full of air, dead flies and bits of fluff, so teach us things worth knowing, bring back what we've forgot, just do your best, we'll do the rest, and learn until our brains all rot._

Bull.

Pompous Potter and her Weaselette and Granger didn't help either. Potter just has to stand there, acting all perfect and Girl-Who-Loved, Weaselette standing at her side, mouth open as she laughs at something that Potter just told her. And Granger. Well, Granger would be standing by Potter's left side, holding all of his books (that damned bookworm) as Potter throes her hand onto his… perfectly… muscled arm…— no, no, _NO_ ogling of mudbloods! Especially Granger! She's been having problems lately, keeping her mind off of Granger's incredibly… _fuckable body_. Nope! You will not think of Granger as that, Dione! He is a filthy mudblood, and you are a prefect pureblood princess and heir. He is beneath you. Nope, nope, nope.

So, all she could do was put on those muggle "designer shades" she found in one shop in Diagon Alley (oh, it was a hectic day in Diagon Alley that day. People everywhere. Whispers, too. It was just too much, and then she just… _snapped_! She snapped, jumped into the first store she could find, and hid in it. Coincidentally, it was a muggle clothing store. She bought some muggle clothing and accessories (which are sooo adorable) as her cover. Nobody would expect Dione Malfoy to wear _muggle_ clothing. Perfect!) to hide her face and walk it off.

That was sort of hard to do once she was on the Hogwarts Express, but whatever. Onwards to the stuffy compartment she always shared with Parkinson, Crabbe, Goyle, and Blaise. She didn't even like Parkinson. Why should she share a compartment with him? He has always managed to slither into her personal space, asking _Dione, what's this?_ and _Dione, what's that?_ with his insufferable high-pitched voice, pug nose sticking up in the air. Say, has he hit puberty yet? It doesn't look like it. Pudgy boy, with a round face (that's just starting to thin out, looks as if he's about to unsheathe a pair of sharp cheek-bones. You could cut yourself slapping those), hideous haircut, waxy completion, and pug-like nose. And don't forget his name. _Premysl_. Means "trick, stratagem", but he doesn't live up to his name. A wonder he hasn't been held back a year at Hogwarts. Hideous boy, she almost pities him.

Crabbe and Goyle aren't that bad. Well, they're a bit on the pudgy side, and dumb as a box of rocks, but they're still pretty good a giving dirty looks. Good information-gatherers, too. Crabbe— who's real name is Vail— and Goyle— who's real name is Grace— could be attractive one day if they would actually _try_.

And Blaise, well, Blaise is the closest thing she has to a best friend. Blaise Zabini, the daughter of the Dominatrix of Britain. A bit quiet, a bit daft at times, but nevertheless, still the only best friend of the one and only Dione Malfoy. She's your average straight-E student who has enough looks to gather in a little crowd of her own. Witty at times, but always hilarious. Shame that her little crowd didn't include Parkinson.

Yay.

~o0o00o0o~

Anyone could hear her coming from a mile away. Those high-heeled shoes (Oxfords, Harry once told him. They're Oxfords) she always wears aren't so discreet, you know. The carpeting of the Hogwarts Express muted the clicks a little bit, but not enough. Once in school you could hear her from the other side of the castle.

 _Click, clack, click, clack, over and over and over again._

Annoying.

Insufferable.

In front of him.

Malfoy looked up at him from her— _are those muggle sunglasses_ —, arching a platinum-white brow at him. It felt like one of those moments in those movies where "True" by Spandau Ballet starts playing. Malfoy, with her thin, almost pointy face, with her... grey eyes, that shine like the moon on a starless night... wait, is he comparing _Malfoy's_ eyes to the moon? Poor moon. No, they're steel, cold and hard, just like her parents. Did you know she's the offspring of inbreeding? Her parents are cousins.

"Well, Granger? Aren't you going to move?" Her lip began to curl up into her infamous sneer, the sneer that shows how much disdain she has for him-a lot.

"Are those _muggle glasses_?" he asked, shocked that Dione Malfoy, pureblood princess, hater of all things muggle was wearing muggle glasses. Where did she get those in the first place? Malfoy, knowing her, would never go out into muggle London, let alone muggle _anything_ , so where did she get the glasses? Is there some sort of muggle clothing store in Diagon Alley? If so, why would Malfoy ever step foot in there? Once again, she's Dione Malfoy, pureblood princess, hater of all things muggle.

"Yes. Will you move now?" She looked as if she were beginning to get frustrated. How long have they been standing there? Him and her, in the narrow hallway of the Hogwarts Express, only centimeters away from each other. Only a few centimeters away... oh Merlin, he has to go back to Harry and Ron-they're waiting on him!

"Yeah, here." oh, how stupid he just sounded! Yeah, here sounds just plain idiotic! Hawthorne, you idiot. You just gave Malfoy more material on why Mudbloods are irrelevant to the wizarding society! You fool, you fool, you fool!

Hawthorne stepped to the side, still mentally hitting himself over the head. Malfoy simply looked him over once, eyes lingering a second too long on his arms, and then clicked her way away, all the way down to her compartment.

 _Click, clack, click, clack, over and over and over again._

* * *

Heey, I'm back! I'll try to see what i can do about updates. I've already got the second chapter all out and drafted, and the third chapter is planned. Whole story is planned out, I just have to write it now. I will stick to schedule! It nearly the end of the year, I can do it. No worries. I'll try to update weekly.

Lots of fun!


End file.
